My Biggest Project Yet

A month ago, if you’d asked me about the name of this website or my personal mission statement – “find potential in everything” – I’d have bent your ear, as long as you let me, talking about creative reuse, both as an art form and a way of life.

I’ve upcycled my bachelor’s degree in theatre and every job skill I’ve ever acquired, I don’t know how many times, parlaying both into work as an event planner, editor, preacher, teacher, professional organizer, art instructor, and more. I’ve crafted positions for myself where none existed, because I could demonstrate how valuable my skills would be to an organization or employer, even if they didn’t yet know exactly how or where to use me. I’m like that thing everyone has in their junk drawer that you aren’t sure how you’ll use, but you know you need it, so you keep it around. (That sounded better in my head, but you get the idea.)

I took great pride in saying I could make something of anything – my work, my art, my parenting, my job search – even myself. But, when my husband of 21 years walked out on me last month, I cursed my mantra and assumed I’d finally found the one thing I couldn’t make something of.

I won’t rehash the drama here; that’s what Facebook is for (although I’ve since deleted any posts where I referenced his leaving). Suffice it to say this was unexpected, undesired, and unbelievable. As someone who believes she can make something of anything, I still can’t comprehend throwing away a marriage. But, here I am, with only bits and pieces of things around me – pieces of my heart, pieces of the past, pieces of the future I’d planned, pieces of my pride. And, right now, I see no potential in any of it.

But, the therapy I have assigned myself is to focus on the potential I see in the people and things around me. My two boys and I have resumed our sharing “three good things” with each other at the end of each day. Theirs will go on the bulletin boards in their rooms. Mine I will try to post here. Not all of them will be Pinterest-worthy, but I know I’m not the only person in the world working on this kind of project. Just as I get ideas and inspiration from things other people share, maybe something I write here could be used by someone else trying to make something of it.